I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
