Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
