did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
