...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
