Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
