and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
