I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
