.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
