Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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