You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
