Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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