its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
