don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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