I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
