You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
