Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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