Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
