I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
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