the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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