Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
