He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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