Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
