And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
