all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
