Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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