Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
