is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
