So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
