have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
