there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
