No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
