Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
