Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
