no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
