A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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