Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
