did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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