Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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