Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
