You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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