We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
