Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
