Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
