I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you had me at cake vodka
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
