5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Randomize
