He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
