I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
