how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
