After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
