There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
